*taps glass of Ipad* *clears throat and draws herself up to most regal posture*
"Bonjour, Messieurs-Dames.
My name is Margot, and I will be your spokes-chicken for today.
It is with great pride zat I announce ze official opening of our shop, managed by 'At The Cottage Gate' Enterprises!
We will now be stocking a tantalising supply of ze finest eggs, produced with care and great effort by possibly ze most pampered chickens in ze Northern 'Emisphere (what? what is zis rubbish? who wrote zis press release?)...Ahem...Please note zat delivery to ze colonies is not available at zis time. (Apologies to our antipodean subscribers).
Unfortunately, I am afraid zat I will be unable to greet you all personally at ze gate to congratulate you on your excellent taste in purchases. I am usually extremely busy in my 'igh level role within ze production team (if you see an egg of excellent size, brown with artistically scattered dark brown freckles ZAT'S ONE OF MINE! It takes me hours to decide where ze freckles will look best, you know. Every one is an individually created work of art!)...Ze others say I take so long in ze nesting box because I'm contemplating my navel (do I 'ave a navel?) but actually zey are just jealous because, of course, my eggs are ze best...
Zey also say unkind things: zat I am bossy and bad tempered and NOT REALLY FRENCH!!!...Zat I put on my French accent to appear more exotic and exciting... (alright, so my father was a Rhode Island Red, but I take after my mother!)
I also enjoy dust bathing in ze sunshine, relaxing on my chaise longue, digging up ze garden, AND WORLD PEACE.
Vote Margot for Chicken of ze Month!"
Oh dear - she might have got a bit carried away with her PR role, I fear.
But yes! The excitement peaked as we were forced by excessive egg production this week, into launching my honesty box 'shop' slightly early and well before the Engineer has even begun to create my protective table/shelf thingy. Also, my emergency sign is definitely a bit on the small side...but needs must. I shall work towards a nice blackboard sign and pretty table.
One customer so far (the school bus driver) and the atmosphere of excitement in the coop is unbelievable - but if we can at least gain enough money towards the chicken feed, I shall consider myself blessed.
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